The B-word

The

B

-word

  Hey b*tch! - That b*tch! - That’s my b*tch! - She’s such a b*tch! - Nice outfit, she’s a bad b*tch! Wow, in an icebreaker, would you describe your best friend as a carnivorous mammal? “That’s Judy, my b*tch! My lewd, immoral, malicious, spiteful, overbearing, unpleasant, objectionable, extremely difficult, dog like, carnivorous mammal and I LOVE HER!”

Definition of BITCH according to Merriam-Webster Online[1]

1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals

2 a: a lewd or immoral woman

   b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse

3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

4: complaint 

This word is used in so many contexts to refer to a close friend, to insult someone, or to describe another person, another girl/woman. I do not agree with the idea/action of referring to women as b*tches. It is lewd, disrespectful and demeaning. One may say, that they don’t mean it in the negative way. A dog is a dog, a cat is a cat, and a b*tch is a b*tch. It is, what it is. A word represents its meaning so one cannot literally say, “that’s not what I meant”. Often times, you’ll here, “What I mean by that, is that she is my best friend, when I refer to her as ‘my b*tch’”. So say “best friend”! Why use such a profane word to refer to someone you respect?

Two instances;

First: I was at the mall with fellow author here and a group of guys were walking. She overheard one say, “Man, there’s mad b*tches in here today.” WAS HE SERIOUS?! Is that how he refers to girls and women? That whole way of thinking is utterly disrespectful.

Secondly, a popular magazine that I read recently printed something that I did not like. There is always an article that lists random, unspoken things that women do, that are “okay” to do or condoned. After one statement describes a woman who borrowed a friends blouse and purposely not returning it. It then condoned and ended the summary but reading “you b*tch” in a celebratory manner. HOLD THE PHONE? Is this the same magazine that’s uplifting women a couple pages back? Contradiction, indeed.

I do not agree that this word can be used in both contexts because the definition is the definition. Notice, B*tch is not defined as; best friend, woman of respect. If that was added, this word would have two opposite meanings.

Imagine a guy saying: Hey beautiful!

What is implied: gorgeous, pretty, lovely etc. What is not implied is dog, complainer, b*tch.

Make any sense? So if the word beautiful retains its meaning when used, why is b*tch any different? The world has become so lax with terminology that it is used in everyday conversation to refer to women. I challenge you to not allow anyone to refer to you with that term. The meaning has negative connotation. Words are powerful as it is. Why let someone cut you down with their words by calling you a b*tch? You are worth more than that (a b*tch), so act like it.

What’s your take on the B-word?

- Whitney

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[1]  Merriam-Webster (2011) http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bitch

Women In Music: Hip Hop

The other day I was in the car with someone who decided to pop in a popular rapper’s cd and I must be honest, I was very disgusted by what I heard in those songs. Besides the use of every single profane word known to man, what was most alarming was the way that he referred to women. During this car ride I had the luxury of hearing this artist refer to women as “b*tches, hoes, and sluts. I sat there wondering when it became okay for this to exist. Nowadays, in hip hop music, it seems as though it is the norm to objectify and disrespect women. As an African American woman, I am disheartened by this because we are SO MUCH MORE than what is being portrayed in these songs. It is disrespectful and offensive to label a woman with such derogatory words and essentially reduce her worth to nothing. I cannot help but wonder how the rest of society would view women, (and even men), of this culture after hearing songs like the one that I heard. What some fail to remember is that music is not just a representation of the artist who delivers it; it can also become a representation of an entire group of people; whether some like it or not. I understand that it is not all of hip hop music that falls within this category, but it is safe to say that too much of this genre consists of distasteful material. While ideally some would like to see music such as this completely eliminated from the industry, it is noted and understood that one cannot control the artists who create it. Nor can one control the women who volunteer to be in these videos and serve as reinforcement for the poor behavior displayed by various artists. However, what can be done in order to help decrease the negative exposure of women, (of all races, backgrounds, and ages), in the music industry is to portray them in different aspects. Music that labels women as being b*tches or uses them as sexual objects should not be the definition of what hip hop music (or any other genre of music), is.

How do you feel about the way that women are portrayed in hip hop music? What about other forms of music? If you could, what would you do to change the way women are portrayed?

Let me know your thoughts!

-Jessica

*I would like to point out that I am fully aware of the fact that many other genres of music consist of offensive material. However, those particular songs that I heard served as the inspiration behind this post.*

Women in Music: Music Videos

I don’t understand why, when it comes to women in music, the phrase “sex sells” often to applies. It now seems to be the norm to see women being used as decorative objects in music videos. Many male artists seem to rely on the women in “barely there” outfits to add more entertainment to their videos and attract their audience. However, shouldn’t an artist’s lyrics alone be enough to attract viewers?  In addition to this, female artists are also taking advantage of the “sex sells” phrase to increase their fanbase. For example, certain Disney stars are now attempting to shed their youth and embrace a more “mature” status by become more provocative in their music and appearance. What concerns me most is what happens to those younger girls who are their fans? The image that is being spread across televisions screens influence the eyes that are watching them. The age at which girls are changing their appearances and behavior due to the women she sees on TV (both artists and video “models”), keeps getting younger. I feel as though the way that women are portrayed in all aspects of music is dwindling. We are being stripped of our substance and instead are being valued only for our bodies; and that is absolutely wrong. What kind of message is being sent to the younger and more impressionable generation? If we are sending out the message to the younger generation, particularly young girls, that a woman is to be defined by her body, rather than the many different roles that we take (strong wife/mother, business owner, lawyer, etc), what type of future is being molded?

What are your thoughts about the way that women are displayed in music videos? Do you see anything wrong with it?                                      

-Jessica

Celebrity Women & Media: Behavior

Similar to fashion, women often emulate what they see their favorite celebrity doing. It may be a type of dance, a type of fashion, or what should be more cautiously refrained from, is the behavior. Celebrities are human just like we are. They make mistakes, they have bodily functions and they breathe like you and me (for the most part). However, sometimes they do idiotic things and its best to not do what they do in every circumstance. We must also consider what else is copied…such as their actions which may not be something ideal for a teenager or a young woman to do. There isn’t much harm for a girl to wear the same type of shirt that another celebrity is wearing but the problem lies in the girl who begins to do what the celebrity is doing, especially when the behaviors are harmful. This area is much more delicate in terms of little girls and teenagers who have not yet identified who they are, what they stand for and the like. We all take time to develop, grow, and learn but they need help sometimes. It’s is not always smart to follow the latest teen queen by smoking the hottest brand of marijuana or becoming intoxicated and operating a vehicle with the justification that Celebrity X did it and only got a slap on the wrist.

The things that I gripe about are the celebrities who call themselves role models and then lead other teens down the paths of destruction. Yes- parents should guide their own teens as well- however, sometimes teens and even young women think that it’s okay to engage in that dangerous behavior because Celebrity X is famous and got away with it. Celebrities are human too, this goes back to what I was previously stated. They make mistakes too, so you don’t need to make the same mistakes with them! The same teenage girls & women on TV are learning who they are, just like you. They may not have the best role models or the best upbringing, or they may be victims of their environment. Whatever the case may be, enjoy their music, enjoy their acting; but remember to be you and THINK-FOR-YOUR-SELF.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Have you known a young girl or a woman who did what their favorite celebrity did and the result turned out for the worst?

-Whitney

Celebrity Women: Fashion

          I can discuss this topic for DAYS! But since this is a blog, let’s keep it short & sweet. Celebrity women have so much influence over our society (how they get that influence is another post). They can go to an event with a brand new look such as pink or red dyed hair, a rainbow of colors, an outfit made of bacon, a bald head, wear a boat on their head as a hat & I guarantee you that you will see girls in your town wearing these same fashions. I've seen it and I don't dwell on 5th Avenue. Is it because she wants to emulate the style? Is it because she wants to be the celebrity? Maybe she just likes the originality. Celebrities are in the spotlight for every little thing that they do… that does not mean that you have to do them too! BE ORIGINAL! BE YOU! LOVE YOU! WEAR THAT LIME GREEN POLKA DOT SKIRT in RED STRIPES SEASON! What you shouldn’t copy are the negative behaviors such as drinking to intoxication, shoplifting, etc. because Tina Nina did so and only received a slap on the wrist from the judge. You don’t have to copy them so let go of the pressure… Hollywood is an entirely different world & most of us are not living in it.

Do you think it’s okay to copy everything your favorite celebrity wears? Will you not wear your polka dots in stripes season? If not, why? Who says that you can’t? Do you keep up with the latest trends because it's in style?

-Whitney

Body Image

If it is not apparent by now, we are not all built to be supermodels on the runway. We were not all built to look exactly like the person next to us. The way you look is on purpose and meant for you! The way you view and present yourself on the outside is reminiscent of how you think about yourself on the inside. You can exercise or change your appearance to achieve the results that you want on the outside as much as you want, but if you do not truly LOVE yourself, it means nothing. If you are not HAPPY with yourself, your size 2 means nothing. If you do not ACCEPT yourself, your hourglass or plus size figure means nothing. We must learn to love who we are… which is a process as well. It is excellent to be healthy and in shape, but sacrificing your health to look like a supermodel is not the way to go.

It appears as though we live in a society that dictates how we should look according to our height, weight, race, etc; if only we could rewind the time and go back to a period when people weren’t so focused on one another's looks. Nowadays it seems as though one must go through a variety of alterations, (i.e. dieting, body shapers, Botox injections, plastic surgery etc.) in order to reach this unattainable level of perfection that is seen on television. Many of these women of Hollywood are beautiful but remember, once they wash off their make-up, detach their extensions, and remove those body huggers geared towards sucking in every ounce of fat, they look just like the rest of us.  If there was not such a pressure to conform to a certain look, more people would feel comfortable in their own skin.

               For instance, if a girl has a favorite celebrity whose appearance is different than hers, she may feel like her looks are unacceptable. She might also be unhappy with her looks if she is surrounded by other girls who look differently than her. It is especially disheartening when young girls are self-conscious about their bodies. We know that something is wrong in our society when a child in grade school throws around the words ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ when asked to describe herself. This is truly upsetting. What is even scarier is the development of eating disorders and body image issues as a result of wanting to be certain size or look a certain way (i.e Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Anorexia Nervosa/Bulimia, Depression). We have to start teaching more self-acceptance rather than offering ways that women can change their looks. If we begin to teach young girls that they are beautiful and that they are special, then so many of them would not try to be like someone else. Instead, they would begin to accept herself.

There is a realization that some girls or young women experience an upset with their body and are may feel unhappy about it. The key here is to find that inner strength to love yourself enough to seek a healthy* and happy living. It should not matter what you may look like. As long as you are happy and healthy, that is all that should matter.

*We would love to read your thoughts on this topic. Maybe some of you can share your experiences with body image and how you overcame any issues; or how you continue with that process. Let’s help one another.*